I'm right handed so I only slam in my left arm; not coordinated enough to use left hand. I'm unable to to keep steady and push plunger with left hand. End up getting in but guess what the burn and bubble begins to start. Got so kissed I asked, actually begged my man to help me. He slams too but he won't do it to me. He doesn't want to be the one to hurt me. So undecided to call the only local I know around here who use to be an emt and also is a main liner. She comes over later in the day around 630p to hit for me. I have about 10 minutes until I have to get my oldest from baseball practice. After the third attempt and the blood thickening up because she would be in than all of a sudden the burn and bubble begin. By 657p I am over it. My son practice ended at seven pm . I left my pad three minutes before seven to get him. End up being 15minutes late getting. I felt horrible, and embarrassed because I had to get out of my truck b/c his coach wanted to talk to me.
My left arm has burning and bruised lumps all over.
I am flabbergasted at myself. Even though my arm is hurting and my veins keep collapsing on me, I still want to stick a needle in my arm. It's sickening to me. What sickens me more that I still want to slam dope. I'm craving it even tough it pisses me off, I can't get loaded the way I want. I know some ....well actually all the dope is not good right now. I miss the good shot from back in the day, peanut butter lemon stop. That shit was good. Now it's all shards and powder of shot that barely doubles back. I miss the triple back good dope. A whole T wasted down my sink drain along with my blood. But here I am wanting to do it. Smoking shot is just not doing it form . I want to do an issue that will drop me to my knees while I fun my pants. Now that is the kind of shot I have been chasing.
I started main lining when I was 21. Back than I didn't care that my arm where brused and all ducked up. Now I care , I have kids I don't need their teacher, coach, or den leaders noticing my track marks, bruises, and lumps on my arm. I broke all the points that I had. Seeing my arms right now is some what helping. Arms are in too much pain. I've Been applying heat and preparation H trying to get this all to go away. Never got the high I wanted and probably won't. Slamming changes me. I snap to easy.
Eye have the similar - needle preoccupation/addiction, and also am a horribly clumsy shooter. Oddly enough eye found that using the left hand to shoot, eye don't have the tendency to push forward too much - which also pushes the entire damn thing, not just the plunger forward - slowly or not, and end up out of it. One suggestion - using something like your legs so that you can do it with both hands, strongly (push down a big) rest them on your legs for balance, hold it with one hand and press with the other. It helps. Unfortunately the leg ones on me are pretty small except ankles and that hip/thigh area - underwear line depending on what kind you're wearing eye suppose - so far, but you might have better luck.
ReplyDeleteEye have the similar - needle preoccupation/addiction, and also am a horribly clumsy shooter. Oddly enough eye found that using the left hand to shoot, eye don't have the tendency to push forward too much - which also pushes the entire damn thing, not just the plunger forward - slowly or not, and end up out of it. One suggestion - using something like your legs so that you can do it with both hands, strongly (push down a big) rest them on your legs for balance, hold it with one hand and press with the other. It helps. Unfortunately the leg ones on me are pretty small except ankles and that hip/thigh area - underwear line depending on what kind you're wearing eye suppose - so far, but you might have better luck.
ReplyDeleteEye have the similar - needle preoccupation/addiction, and also am a horribly clumsy shooter. Oddly enough eye found that using the left hand to shoot, eye don't have the tendency to push forward too much - which also pushes the entire damn thing, not just the plunger forward - slowly or not, and end up out of it. One suggestion - using something like your legs so that you can do it with both hands, strongly (push down a big) rest them on your legs for balance, hold it with one hand and press with the other. It helps. Unfortunately the leg ones on me are pretty small except ankles and that hip/thigh area - underwear line depending on what kind you're wearing eye suppose - so far, but you might have better luck.
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